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Chapter 1 – “Judge Not, lest you be judged”

* Criticism is full of injustice *

 -  Elder, I judge and I criticize very easily...

-  Your ability to judge is, naturally, a gift that God has given you; but it is being exploited by the ‘little imp’, making you criticise and thus sin. Which is why -until your judgment has been purified and has received divine illumination- you must not trust it. When one preoccupies himself with others and proceeds to judge them while his own judgment has not been purified, he will constantly fall into criticism.

-  So, Elder, how can my judgment be purified?

-  You need to “polish” it... because, although you may have a good intention and a strength inside you, you nevertheless believe that you always judge correctly.  Your judgment is, alas, human, secular.  Try to rid yourself of the human element and acquire selflessness, so that divine illumination will come to you and your judgment may become spiritual, divine. That way, your judgment will be in accordance with God’s justice, and not your own, human justice; with God’s love and mercy - and not with human logic.

Only God can judge fairly, because only He knows the hearts of people. We, however,by not knowing God’s fair judgment, judge “at face value” - externally - and that's why we misjudge and we wrong the other. In other words, our human judgment is seriously unjust. Notice what Christ had said: “Do not judge by appearance, but judge with a fair judgment”.

One must be very careful. We can never know exactly how things really are. Years ago, in a monastery of the Holy Mountain there was a very pious deacon. However he decided to change back to his secular clothes and he then returned to his home town. At the time, many Fathers had made negative comments about his move. But what had actually happened? He had received a letter telling him that his sisters were still single, and, fearing they might stray from the right path, he went to help matters. He got a job in a factory and lived even more strictly as a monk than before.  As soon as he had ensured his sisters were all taken care of and married properly, he left his job and went to another monastery, this time to stay. When the abbot noticed that he was familiar with all the monastic details - the rubric, the services, etc., he asked him how come he knew them so well, so he opened his heart and told the abbot everything. The abbot then informed the bishop, and he immediately ordained him as priest. Then he departed to a remote monastery, where he lived a very spiritual life, with a great deal of ascesis. He eventually attained the state of holiness and helped very many people spiritually. Those who never learnt what had happened to him,  may still be criticising him...

How seriously must we avoid criticism! How seriously do we wrong our neighbour, when we criticise him! The fact is, in reality we only wrong ourselves when criticising - and not the other person - because we thus make God resent us. God abhors nothing as much as He abhors our criticism, because God is righteous, and our criticism is full of injustice.

* How we arrive at criticism *

- Elder, why do I often get carried away and criticise?

- It is because you preoccupy yourself with others. You observe your sisters and out of sheer curiosity you want to learn what the one or the other is doing.  In doing so, you  are essentially collecting ‘fuel’ - which the little imp will use when manipulating you, to trap you into criticising.

- Why is it, Elder, that whereas I never used to notice the faults of others, now I notice them and criticise?

- You can see the faults of others now, because you aren’t noticing your own faults.

- Where do the thoughts of criticism originate from, Elder?

- From the idea that we have of ourselves  - that is, our pride - and the tendency that we have of justifying ourselves.

- Elder, does criticism lack love?

- Well of course it does! What did you imagine? It not only lacks love; it also contains impudence. When you don't have love, you don't see the other’s mistakes with leniency, in which case, you humiliate them inside you and condemn them.  Straight away, the little imp goes and induces them to make another mistake; you then notice it, you criticise them again, and then also react with impudence.

- Sometimes, Elder, the sister that I work with upsets me and I criticise her.

- And how would you know how many little imps she is struggling with at that moment? She may have been fighting with fifty demons who were trying to influence her behaviour in such a way that would make you think “Aha...so that’s what she’s like!”  Then, on seeing that you criticised her, five hundred demons will swoop in to demean her in front of you, so that you will criticise her even more.  For example, you may say: “My sister, don’t place that object over there – its place is over here”.  The next day, the little imp with make her forget what you told her, and she puts that object in the same wrong place again. She may even make some other mistake and you will say to yourself: “But just yesterday I told her to pay attention, and she did the same thing today – and she also made the other mistake today!” Thus, you will have criticised her again, and will not have controlled yourself and not said anything; you instead exploded and reacted, by saying: “Sister, didn’t I tell you to not place it there?  It is sheer carelessness! Your behaviour has scandalised me!”  And that’s all that was needed: the devil did his job, making you criticise her – and also distancing you from her.  Meantime, because she doesn’t know that you were the actual cause behind her carelessness, she will immediately feel guilty for scandalising you and become very sad...  Can you see how cleverly the little imp operates - and we choose to listen to it?

That’s why you must strive to not judge anyone. Judge only the little imps - who, although originally angels ended up demons – and who, instead of repenting, become increasingly wilier and evil and maniacally bent on destroying God’s creation. In other words, the wily one persuades humans to do strange and irregular things, while he also plants thoughts into other humans, to judge and to criticise – thus defeating both the former and the latter:  those who are defeated and then misbehave will afterwards feel guilty and repent, whereas the others who judged and criticised will actually feel they were justified in acting as they did; they will feel proud and will end up in the same fall as the wily one had: pride.

* Criticism drives away God’s Grace *

-   Elder, when a negative thought comes to mind against someone, is it always a criticism?

-   Don’t you realize it at that moment?

-   Sometimes it takes a while to realize it.

-   See that you realize it soon after that fall of yours, and ask forgiveness - both from the sister that you criticized, and from God – because it will become an obstacle during prayer. With criticism, God’s Grace departs immediately, and a frigidity is immediately created in your relationship with God.  How can you pray afterwards? The heart turns into ice... into marble.

Criticism and slander are the heaviest of sins, and they distance God’s Grace more than any other sin. “Just as water extinguishes a fire”, says Saint John of the Ladder, “thus criticism extinguishes the Grace of God”.

-   Elder, I feel very sleepy during the morning Service.

-   Did you perhaps criticise any of the sisters?  You see things externally and criticise, and that is why you feel drowsy during the Service. In other words, the moment that one criticises and doesn’t handle matters spiritually, they accrue negative points and they are weakened; and when they become weakened, they either feel sleepy or they have sleeplessness.

-   Elder, I often surrender to gluttony.

-   Look, what you need to carefully watch out for is criticism. If you don’t stop criticism, you won’t be able to rid yourself of gluttony either.  The one who criticises - and hence drives away the Grace of God – renders himself helpless and cannot be rid of his existing faults. And if he cannot perceive his error, then - in order to be humbled - he will constantly undergo falls . But if he does perceive it and asks for God’s help, then God’s Grace will return.

* Those who criticise others fall into the same faults *

-   Elder, why is it, that when I happen to criticise a sister for a certain fault of hers, I make the very same mistake after a while?

-   If one criticises someone for a fault of theirs and doesn’t realize his own fall and repent of his action, he will usually repeat that same fault himself in order to realize what he had done.  It is out of love that God allows man to experience the situation of the one that was criticized. For example, if a person is greedy and you didn’t realize you had criticized them, God takes away His Grace and allows you to likewise descend into greed. Until such time as you realize your downfall and ask for God’s forgiveness, His spiritual laws will apply.

To help you, I will tell you something about my own experience.  When I was living at the Sacred Monastery of Stomion, I had learnt of a fellow student from Primary School who had strayed from her path and had been doing indecent things in the town of Konitsa. So I began to pray to God to guide her to come to the monastery so that I might talk to her. I had noted a few passages in the Holy Bible on repentance, as well as from Patristic texts. So one day she finally came, along with two other women. We talked, and she appeared to have understood what I had told her. She gradually visited the monastery more regularly, together with her child, and always brought candles, oil and incense. Then one day a few familiar pilgrims from Konitsa came to me and said: “Father, this woman is a hypocrite; she brings candles and incense here, but there - in town - she still continues to go with the Army officers”.  The next time she came, I found her inside the church venerating the icons, so I started to shout at her, “Get out of here!” I said, “you have been fouling up the entire region!...”  The poor woman left in tears. Not much time had passed, when I began to feel overwhelmed by a carnal attack....  “What on earth is this?” I was asking myself... “I have never had such a fierce temptation...”.  But I couldn’t determine the cause. I prayed, but nothing changed.  So I took to the hills. I climbed as far up as I could towards the Gamila summit.  “Better to be devoured by bears,” I told myself. I pressed on, through the mountainous terrain, but that temptation didn’t recede.  So I took out the tiny axe that hung from my belt, and struck my leg three times, in the hope that the pain would drive away the temptation. My shoe filled with blood, but still nothing. Then quite suddenly, that woman came to mind, and the words that I had hurled at her... “Oh my God...” I then said, “I only had a taste of that Hell for a short while and couldn’t bear it, and that poor woman has been living that Hell continuously!.... Please forgive me for criticising her!”  I immediately felt a divine cool breeze sweep over me, and the attack vanished...  Do you see what criticism can do?

* If we disregard the others’ faults, God will overlook ours *

-   Elder, during the sorting of olives today, I had criticised  a few sisters because I noticed they weren’t doing their job carefully.

 -   See that you stop your judgments and criticisms, because you too will eventually be judged, by God.  Didn’t you yourself happen to overlook a spoiled olive or two, while sorting them?

-   No, Elder, I take care to not overlook any.

-   If the Lord does such a careful sorting during Judgment Day, woe to us!  Whereas, if we overlook the others’ errors and do not criticise them, we can then say to Christ: “My Christ, please include me also, in a corner of Paradise!”  Remember what is written in the “Gerondikon” (Book of Elders) about a careless monk, who was saved because he never criticised? When his time came to die, he was feeling very happy and at peace.  Then his Elder - wanting to benefit the Fathers who had gathered there from the nearby Cells - asked the monk: “Brother, how is it that you are not afraid of death, after having lived so carelessly all your life?” And the brother replied: “ It is true, that I always lived carelessly. But ever since I became a monk, I tried to not criticise anyone, so now I can say to Christ, “My Christ, I know I am a wretch, but at least I have upheld Your commandment: “Do not judge, lest you be judged”.  His Elder then replied: “You are blessed, my brother, for you have been saved without needing to toil”.

-   Elder, when certain spiritual people notice someone is living sinfully, they say: “Oh, him... the way he is going, he is headed for Hell!”

-   Oh... if worldly pople go to Hell because of abuses, spiritual people  will go there because of criticisms...  We can never say of someone that they will go to Hell. We cannot know how God works.... God’s judgments are an abyss... Let us not ‘condemn’ anyone, because that is like taking judgment away from God’s hands... we are making ourselves gods... If Christ questions us on Judgment Day, let us then give Him our opinion...

Chapter 2 – The struggle against criticism

* If we turn to ourselves, we won’t criticise *

-   Elder, when I notice a certain disorder during a (monastic) chore, I tend to criticise inside me.

-   You should focus on your own order, and not the others’ disorders. Be strict with yourself and not with others. What chores did you do today?

-   I dusted.

-   Did you “dust” (criticise) others, or yourself?

-   Unfortunately, the others...

-   Look, you will begin to work on yourself when you stop preoccupying yourself with what others around you are doing. If you focus on yourself and stop focusing on the others, then you will be able to see only your faults, and won’t find others to be at fault at all.  That’s when you will feel despair - in a good sense – about yourself, and criticise yourself only. You will sense your sinfulness and will strive to rid yourself of your weaknesses. Then, whenever you notice a certain weakness in others, you will ask yourself: “So what if I noticed something in that person? Have I perhaps overcome my own weaknesses?  Then why am I demanding it from others?”.  That is why you must study and observe yourself continuously, in order to avoid latent pride and to have self-reproach with due discernment, so that you can avoid that internal criticism. That is how you will become corrected.

-   Elder, Abba Isaac wrote “If you love cleanliness, enter the vineyard of your heart, uproot passions from your soul, and toil without wanting to know a person’s malice”.  What does he mean here?

-   He means that you should turn towards yourself and work on yourself.  How did holy men become saints? They had turned towards themselves and saw only their own passions.  With the self-judgment and self-reproach that they had, the scales fell away from their eyes and they reached the stage of seeing clearly and deeply. They saw themselves below all other people, and regarded everyone else better than them. They saw their own faults as huge and the faults of others very small, because they observed with the eyes of their soul  and not their earthly eyes. That explains why they would say “I am the worst of all people”.  Their eyes had been cleansed and had become like binoculars, which is why they could see their own minor faults (that were like small twigs) like massive wooden beams.  But we – albeit with faults as big as wooden beams – either can’t see them, or we see them as small twigs.  We observe others under a microscope and see their sins as massive, whereas we don’t see the size of our own sins because the eyes of our soul haven’t been cleansed.  The basis is the cleansing of our soul’s eyes.  When Christ asked the blind man: “How do you see people now?” he replied “like trees”, because his sight had not been fully restored and was blurry. When his sight was fully restored, he then saw everything clearly.  I am trying to say that when a person reaches a good level of spirituality, he sees everything clearly; the faults of others he justifies (in the good sense), because he can see them with the divine eye and not the human one.

* If we have an excuse for others, we won’t criticise them *

-   Elder, when I have thoughts of  pride and criticism about others, I try to have an excuse for them. Is that a fall or a struggle?

-   It is a struggle. When one stares at something with gaping mouth and a fly gets in his mouth, he will spit it out. But it would be safer for him to be careful to not let it enter.

-   But Elder, I often criticise when I notice what others are doing.

-   Well, it's true that we can’t avoid seeing whatever is happening around us. But you need to acquire discernment, so that you can find an excuse for them. That way, you will see them in a better state.

-   Elder, I find myself during the Service with thoughts such as why a certain sister doesn’t appear at the cantors’ spot to chant, or why another sister chants in a low voice etc., and I constantly criticise.

-   So? Why don’t you instead say to yourself that the sister may be very tired, or in pain and was unable to sleep, and that's why she wasn’t there to chant? I know of sisters who – even when sick to the point of not being able to drag their feet because of a fever – will nevertheless strive to not make their condition evident to others, lest they are told to abandon their chore and another sister is told to replace them, thus burdening her...  Don’t you find that to be very touching?

-   It is indeed touching, Elder, but I don’t always manage to find an excuse for a sister when she behaves badly...

-   Did you ever stop to think that perhaps that sister is behaving badly because she is purposely hiding her virtue? ... I know of individuals who are purposely disorderly and are vilified by those who don’t focus on their own faults...  Then again, a certain sister may be behaving badly because she is very tired, but will have repented immediately after, for behaving that way.  You meantime proceeded to criticise her, even though she may have already repented for her bad behaviour.  In the eyes of people she was humbled, but in the eyes of God she is higher up...

-   Elder, I have a certain difficulty in that I cannot put myself “in the other’s shoes” in order to justify their actions.

-   You need to observe with pain the one who errs, and glorify God for everything that He has given you, because God will eventually say: “My child, I have given you so much and yet, why were you so cruel?”  You must look at things more broadly: try to imagine that person’s past, the opportunities that were given to him to cultivate himself, and the opportunities that you were given, which you didn’t utilize.  That way, you will be moved by the gifts that God gave you; you will glorify Him for them and will humble yourself because you hadn’t responded. In parallel, you will feel love and pain for the brother that didn’t have your opportunities, and will offer your heartfelt prayers for him.

There are people who commit serious crimes, but may have many extenuating circumstances.  Who can know how those people are, in God’s eyes? If God hadn’t helped us, we too could have been tramps.  Let’s say a certain criminal had committed twenty crimes and I go ahead and criticise him without a single thought about what his past was like. Who knows how many crimes his own father may have committed! ... Or, how many robberies he may have been forced to commit!  Later on, as a youth, how many years he may have spent in prisons and was guided by other, more expereinced criminals.  He could have been capable of committing forty more crimes, but perhaps had controlled himself... 

Then I myself – with the heredity and the upbringing that I had, I should be performing miracles by now. Did I?  No. Therefore I am inexcusable... But even if I had performed twenty miracles, albeit able to do forty, I would again be inexcusable.  These are the thought methods by which we can combat criticism and open a crack in our stone-hard heart.

* We must not easily reach conclusions *

-   Elder, what will help me to stop criticising?

-   Is everything always the way you imagine?

-   No, Elder.

-   Well, then you should say to yourself: “I don’t always think correctly; for example in such and such a case, I had judged and was mistaken, therefore I had wronged that person. I must therefore not heed my imaginings.”  Each one of us has instances where we had more or less judged mistakenly.  By bringing to mind all the instances that we had misjudged, we will be able to avoid criticism. But even if in one single instance we had judged correctly, who could know what the other person’s motives were? Is it possible to know how something took place?  We should therefore avoid reaching conclusions too easily.

When I was young, I too was very easy with criticism. Just because I was living slightly carefully and had a pseudo-piety, I would criticise whatever seemed crooked to me. Because, when one lives a little bit spiritually “in the world”, he can see many faults in others and not see any virtues.  He may not be able to see those who cultivate virtue because they chose to live in obscurity, but he can see others who are disorderly, and he criticises them. He will say things like:”so-and-so does this or that; the other one walks in such-and-such a way; the other one looks like.....etc.”

Do you know what happened to me one time? I had gone with an acquaintance of mine to the Liturgy in a monastery at Monodendri – about nine hours away from Konitsa. When we entered the church, my acquaintance went to the cantors’ stand in order to chant, and I went to the seat behind the cantor. I focused on the Service and chanted quietly. Then a young woman dressed in black suddenly approached and stood next to me, and stared at me continuously. She would look, then cross herself.  She looked, then crossed herself...  I became exasperated. I kept saying to myself: “What on earth is it with this woman? Inside a church, among so many people... why is she staring at me like that?”   Personally, whenever any of my sisters happened to pass me by on the street, I wouldn’t look at them. They would then go home and complain to our mother: “Arsenios saw me” - they would say – “and he didn’t speak to me!”  Then my mother would berate me: “You see your sisters on the road and you don’t talk to them?”  And I would say: “Am I supposed to look around me to see if the one passing by is my sister? We have a whole lot of relatives; is that what I am supposed to do?”  I am just saying that I often had such extreme instances, where my sister would pass by me on the road and I didn’t talk to her!  Anyway... 

As soon as the Liturgy finished, that black-robed woman went and asked the priest to tell me to go to her house, because I looked so much like her child, who had been killed in the war!  When I went to her house, I saw the photograph of her son. We did in fact look very much like brothers! That poor woman was staring at me in church and crossing herself, because it was like she was seeing her deceased son, while I was thinking: “What an ungodly woman – inside a church, and staring at me like that!”   Oh... you can’t imagine how that incident had crushed me... I would say to myself: “Look at you! You had such thoughts going through your head about what kind of woman she must be, behaving as she did in church, and without any shame.... while that poor soul had lost her child and was only grieving over his loss!”

One other time, I had criticised my brother who was then an active soldier.  I had received this message from the Army’s provider: “I gave your brother two cans of  olive oil. What happened to the empty cans?”  I thought to myself: “But my brother would normally bring soldiers to our home and we would host them; how could he have done such a thing as to take oil from the Army?”   So I sat down and wrote a letter to my brother, very much annoyed...  and he replied: “Ask the lady who tends to the lower church for the empty cans”!  Apparently he had sent the oil to the church in Lower Konitsa because it was very poor...  “Bravo!" – I then said to myself;  "the other time you had criticised that poor woman who was staring at you in church, and now you are criticising your brother....  Next time?  Never again! Never again!”

I am trying to say that after I realized I kept making mistakes with my judgments, I would thereafter check myself: “In such and such incident  I had told that person he had acted in such and such a way, but things were not like that.... Another time, I had come to a conclusion but it wasn’t correct....”  That way, I placed myself in the other’s situation.  “Next time” - I would say – you will not judge at all. Full stop!  You are crooked, hence you see everything as crooked. See that you become a proper person!”  Thereafter, whenever something would seem crooked to me, I would say: “It must be something good - only I can’t perceive it. Every time I made an opposite thought, I misjudged.”  So, after I had become disgusted with myself – in a good sense – I would think of  an excuse for everyone. For others, I would always find extenuating circumstances and criticise only me.

However, if one doesn’t keep track of  his behaviour and bypasses everything without noticing, he will be inexcusable afterwards, on Judgment Day.

Quitting criticism requires bravery.

So:  Decide to make a good start; STOP all thoughts with criticisms; see to the purification of your nous and heart. 

Amen.

English text : A.N.